It is a hot and humid night. Another month is fast drawing to a close. I am restless, unable to sleep. I should feel relieved. I have narrowly escaped a visit to Lowell Superior Court.
On this night, I do not feel any kind of relief.
I am hot.
I am tired.
I am irritated.
In all likelihood, this is truly about as good as it was ever going to get. Yet I can’t help feeling my stomach churn. Why is it that the few people who go to such lengths to make my life unbearable seem to leave a more lasting impact—at least temporarily—than those who go the distance to love and support me?
Perhaps, it is because it is the former variety of individuals that cause me to lose sleep at night. It is behavior so lacking in empathy it causes me to lose hope in humanity.
Why prolong pain and suffering? Can causing this kind of distress to another human being really bring joy to one’s life? Maybe, it is the feeling of power or control that inspires a person to persist.
I suppose it is probably better to stay in the dark on this one. In truth, I prefer to put as much distance as possible between myself and this brand of homo sapiens. I moved all the way to Massachusetts in this spirit, yet here I am once again right up against it, staring the dark side of humanity in the eye.
It is incredibly disheartening to me than anyone could treat another person in such a manner and carry on as though there were nothing wrong with this behavior. I know that I am certainly not perfect and my own temper can be incited. I have learned over time that this kind of behavior only serves to perpetuate unrest.
All I can do is embrace the pain I feel cross paths with a person who seems to wish to cause me harm. There must be such sadness, some kind of void in their lives that would inspire such behavior.
I can embrace the pain, and then I can let it go.
This is not the path I wish to follow.
Here’s hoping June will bring good tidings, peace and quiet, and a chance to experience a more uplifting side of life in Massachusetts.