life of m

Sustaining the Self and Beyond

I am not a rock.

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IMG_6421I am not an island, either. The more I come to know my self, the more I am starting to think I am an introverted fish. I am a fish that doesn’t quite fit in with the school and swims on the periphery of the formation. I look like the other fish, but I am different on the inside. I can just sense it. I have different ideas and ideals. I prefer to spend much of my time swimming alone, and I am tired of trying to fit in with everyone else in the school.

Yesterday, this fish went swimming in Walden Pond. It is where I feel most at home these days. The water was bathtub warm and beautiful shades of light lagoon green and darker blue. Le paradis!

Periodically, I tread water and cycled my legs as deep as they would go in search of cooler temperatures. No luck. Even toward the middle of the lake, where the temperature is typically a few degrees lower than the more shallow shore, the water was warm and smooth. I wonder if this was how it felt to be in the womb? Perhaps, this is a question for another time.

On this sunny afternoon, I was thankful for the liquid respite from the world I generally inhabit. The water world of the pond is more quiet and peaceful. There are fewer people pushing their grocery carts in front of mine and finding something, anything to complain about.

In the water, I am free from judgment. Dragonfly buzz above my head and water striders glide by on the surface. Below, I can close my eyes and try to forget my life and its obstacles.

Underwater, there are no homes with mortgages to pay, no stuffy uniform causing heat exhaustion, no humidity, and no complicated long distance relationships. I am free for a few seconds at a time.

If I concentrate on my breath and the feeling of the water holding my body close to the surface, I can almost quiet my mind. Not entirely, but I am working on it.

On the sustainability spectrum, I am closer to a sustainable life than I was when I created this blog, but I am still a work in progress.

I will take today over yesterday and hope that tomorrow will be a step in a more sustainable direction.

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Author: marieke

I am a writer, artist, musician, songwriter, editor, and yogi. I am a seeker and a wanderer. I love spending time learning about the wildness of human nature and the world around me.

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