life of m

Sustaining the Self and Beyond

Who is to blame?-Shutdown Day II

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I didn’t set my alarm clock last night and still I awoke right on time to get ready to go work. But I had no work to go to.

So, I made breakfast—coffee, veggie sausage, an egg, and cheese.

I reviewed social media and my government email account for updates. Nothing new. Just more people expressing frustration, disappointment, anger, etc. I was among them.

It is not productive to be angry, but angry I was. I also felt impotent to change what was going on. Usually when I am in this state, I clean and feel better.

I did a deep clean of my apartment, dusting and scrubbing corners. I still felt unsettled.

I tried the creative approach. I went out and took photographs around downtown Lowell.

DSCF9035I tried the cathartic ritual of exercise, attempting to exorcise the negative energy out of my body through circular motion of my arms and legs. I pushed it away with each breast stroke.

Nothing.

So I engaged in conversation with colleagues and friends online. I voiced my disappointment through photographs, “likes” on colleagues’ facebook pages, and my own array of mixed media posts.

A little better. At least, I felt less alone.

It just seemed like so many people beyond my immediate community had little sense or concern of the greater ramifications of what has been going on. At the post office, the man behind the counter joked that he was envious of my time off to “play.”

Seriously?

I imagine he was kidding, but I still felt vexed by the interchange. The apathy and lack of concern bothered me. A lot.

It is easy to place blame, and I suppose I am also to blame. I do not place much faith into politics. I vote, but that is about it. I was teaching in France when Bush was elected for a second term, and I thought about staying there permanently. I still dream of running away to a foreign land, though I know every country has its problems.

At the end of a second day, I am hoping that political leaders will get over their individual egos and agendas and do the right thing.

I am not holding my breath.

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Author: marieke

I am a writer, artist, musician, songwriter, editor, and yogi. I am a seeker and a wanderer. I love spending time learning about the wildness of human nature and the world around me.

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