life of m

Sustaining the Self and Beyond

Breathing through-Shutdown Day 13

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DSCF9246Happy Sunday Shutdown!

I know thirteen has a reputation, and on this morning of the 13th I can feel the continued stormy energy moving through my own being and the ethos around me.

I awoke after a strange, unsettling dream about potential buyers finding all manner of things wrong with my beautiful home in Alaska, so I repeated the mantra my sweetie has taught to me: “That is not my intention. That is not my intention.”

I made pancakes and coffee, both good in my book.

I turned on my computer to check my email and was met with a fairly cantankerous email from a woman I sold a shirt to for $10 on ebay. I mean, $10 for a ridiculously nice, wool Patagonia top and this woman wants a refund enough to open an ebay buyer protection case?

I was incensed and ready to send a nasty email her way, and then I thought to myself, “Wow. This must be one unhappy person. Do I really want to engage in this kind of back and forth?” The answer from my inner voices rang loud and clear, “Not so much.”

So, just like I did with my awful first landlord when I first moved to Lowell, I offered money to send her on her nasty, little way. Besides, I know that karma can be a bitch, so they can have fun being dung beetles in their next lives together, and I will celebrate them in writing.

Every day, there are myriad opportunities to make choices about what to hold onto and what to let go of. And to be honest, I have enough to grapple with than to take on this nasty kind of spirit from anyone.

So, I offered her a partial refund and the ability to keep the top (which, honestly, is a sweet shirt and only cost 10 freaking dollars). In my early thirties, older age, I just cannot seem to handle any kind of wool against my skin. Sad, truly, but I am trying to practice acceptance for many things these days—government shutdown, mean ebay customers, sensitive spirit and skin, etc.

All this swirl of energy and choice before noon on a Sunday. I am going to do my best to keep breathing in and out, at even speeds, and to find ways to let the negative energy pass along its way without getting enmeshed in it.

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Author: marieke

I am a writer, artist, musician, songwriter, editor, and yogi. I am a seeker and a wanderer. I love spending time learning about the wildness of human nature and the world around me.

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